Another world class performance...

Yep, you dont want Ian Harvey in your team, he's shit. He qualifies for England in a couple of years anyway. He effectively scored 78 runs off 3 overs with 9 x 4s and 7 x 6s in an innings of 109 off 55 balls!

Check this performance out

You have to be joking...

A running theme in this blog has been the unbelievable schedule for this summer, I now find out that after the triangular series there is a 'one day challenge' of another 3 one dayers before the first test. This is getting ridiculous and must be hard for the players [and some of the fans] to understand or get motivated for.

Tonight's Washed out game...

I think there is a positive to be had from England's overall performances in this series, we have definitely restricted Australia in their scoring, and they cannot deny it. On every occasion they have batted first and on each time they have under performed. The first 4 have not scored at all with a middle order recovery saving their faces.

Admittedly our batting has not been consistent or terribly impressive with McGrath seeming to bowl too well at our left handers, but early doors and we have had a look at them. We have forced Gillespie down the pecking order and seen off Kasprovic.

And today we saw some toys thrown out of the pram by a few of their big guns, they are definitely rattled, lets hope we can take that forwards.

This is getting wierd...

Adam Gilchrist joins the freak show that is the current Australian Team, look at his ears, they dont even match. I am starting to think that there is something going on here. I am wondering if the current players are actually the result of some kind of wierd experimentation program in the late 60s to create the perfect cricket team. Maybe the Waugh twins were an early attempt that went wrong and had to be separated? See Matthew Hayden's piece from earlier in the blog.

Now look at this...



It wasn't just just the Eastern European swimmers by the look of it, surely we should get some genetic testing done on the whole team.

Great Pietersen moment yesterday...

I enjoyed a great moment in England's latest [but not as impressive] demolition of Bangladesh. Kevin Pietersen was in and the spinners were on, Rafique was taking ages to arrange the field and our Kevin was smiling to himself the whole time, Rafique bowled the first ball of the over after making several more changes to the field. Pietersen launched it into row Z. That was pretty cool, he is clearly a very confident chap. It was certainly up there with Flintoff smacking a six to his Dad in the crowd.

Only down side was that Flintoff seemed to struggle with the spin, I am guessing the Aussies will bring Warney on as soon as he comes to the crease. This may mean we have to have Pietersen in the test team as Flintoff may be playing as a bowler if he cant pick Shane Warne.

Is Andrew Symonds the perfect one day player?

I've just watched Andrew Symonds bowl off spin with massive turn to the Bangladesh team, didn't he bowl decent paced seam at England the other day? Or did I dream that? He looked extremely confident with the bat against England for his 75 as well. To cap it all he took and absolutely world class catch to get a C&B. Australia must have some great test players if he cant get it in the team!

'Blowers' must go...

I found myself screaming at the radio driving hoe from a meeting yesterday, Henry Blowfelt is a cretin of the highest order. He continually got the players names wrong and described the play badly. I know TMS is meant to be a British institution but it still needs to be accurate and professional and this old buffer is way past his sell by date.

Collingwood's Catch

Can anyone find an image of the catch that Paul 'The Cat' Collingwood pulled off on Sunday?

I'm not sure if I want the picture of Collingwood or a picture of the look on Hayden's face!

Record Breaker

What an amazing performace from Paul Collingwood today, this just show the strength in depth of England's current Test squad, this guy cant even get a game!

BBC Report on Collingwood's Record Performace

It was a Botham like performance, amazing considering people were questioning why he was going in before Pietersen. And as a bowler he usually has very little to offer in my mind but this is an incredible performance given that everyone else was getting lashed.

Vaughan is looking very lightwieght at 3, and Jon lewis must be on thin ice, if it doesn't swing he seems to have little else to offer. Nice to see Ashley back.

Three into Two won't go...

Great article on the BBC about our middle order issue

Click here

I am starting to waiver on this one, on the basis of my analysis further down about the middle order maybe being a problem for us Pietersen will scare the shit out of the Aussies at number 6. Why not look at this way, give him the start and if it goes tits bring Thorpey back.

Oztrayer

I have spent a small portion of the day trying to work out how to spell Australia when spoken by Australians. The spelling in the title is about as close as I can get - any suggestions?

Why Lords is Crap

Hats off to the crowd at Bristol today, they heckled and booed the Aussies from the first ball right through to the presentation ceremony, I hope there is going to be no let up. The crowd can become England's twelfth man this summer.

I still remember my first visit to Lord's watching the crown politely clapping the opposition getting runs. The sooner we see the back of that kind of apologist shite the better.

Pietersen Digs England out of a Hole!

I have to say I thought we had lost that one, when the run rate went over 7 and Solanki went it looked lost. Australia seemed a lot more competitive than they did yesterday, with their support bowlers doing a great job.

England did a brilliant job of keeping the Aussies down to 250, the wicket had 300 written all over it, Harmison's dazzling spell set up the victory. And worth mentioning a sensational catch by Collingwood.

England then went on to make very heavy weather of getting the runs, with a strange batting order not helping matters. Many of our shots were finding fielders and too many overs were being wasted in the middle of the innings.

Pietersen was tremendous though with 91 not out and looks like a cricketer of incredible talent, his fielding is top notch and his batting is fearless. Makes you wonder how we could fit him into the Test team and whether his approach to batting is even vaguely suitable for the longer format. If he could only perfect an English accent.

The Aussies still look jaded with Ponting clearly troubled by his team's shortcomings. Gillespie has gone, Kasprovicz no more than a stock bowler, and his own batting looks suspect.

Jason "Where's your caravan?" Gillespie...

Would you buy a second hand horse off this man let alone have him opening the bowling?

Some key points from the weekend...

I am not a big fan of one day cricket compared to Test Matches, it is a great leveller and the best side does not always win, and England aren't terribly good at it. We can compete but probably dont win many more than we lose. So with half an eye on both games this weekend I am looking for pointers for the Test series, this is what I have so far:

1. Gillespie and McGrath both look out of nick to me and I cant see them troubling England as much as they have in the past.
2. There is a severe lack of variety in the Aussie seam bowl attack with all 3 main strike bowlers basically bowling at the same speed.
3. Despite England's attempt to make him look good on Sunday I cant see Brad Hogg making it into the test team.
4. England's late middle order, specifically Freddie Flintoff and Geraint Jones look a little bit out of sorts, maybe they could have done with some time in the middle against Bangladesh.
5. Steve Harmison looked hungry, accurate and destructive.
6. We seem to have discovered Ponting's weakness, he looks susceptible to the lbw early on, Matthew Hoggard will be rubbing his hands.

Bangladesh humble sorry Australia

What an incredible result, we must be witnessing the beginning of the end for Australia, unless they come up with 2 or 3 new bowlers they are really going to struggle. They looked lethargic and Ricky Ponting's quote was mint when asked if he should hit the panic button: "Trust me, we are close."

BBC Article
Aussie version

It cuts both ways...

I may have been a bit harsh on the ECB re the schedule but time will bear it out, but England are clearly playing themselves into a rich vein of form at the moment - great to see Andrew Strauss back in the runs in the game against Bangladesh, who were pitiful.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/4098224.stm

UEFA and FIFA join the debate...

Just hours after I posted the deeply insightful analysis of the Australian team's good looks but Sepp Blatter and Lennart Johannsen have joined the debate. Sepp and Lennart are clearly real men who like a beer, they are having a pissing competition to see who can be the most sexist and patronising about women's football. I think Sepp is sneaking it with his inspired comment about marketing the women's game when he called for the players to wear "tighter shorts". What a man!

We await his feedback on the Aussies being made to keep their helmets on at all times...

This is worth a read

Clutching at straws [I hope]

Interesting story here aimed at undermining Mr Flintoff with their leg spinners.

Click here for more

Australia humbled by Somerset duo

Blimey, second use of the word 'humbled' in two days. See my earlier post re the Tour schedule, shouldn't we currently be at Edgbaston in the first test where these words would have been put to much better use???

BBC Report for reference - worth a read, Ponting is livid apparently, you have to feel for him, all the bowlers fault.

What is going on...

You can only assume there is some kind of mirror ban in Australia, or a severe shortage of Remington products, maybe he's growing them for charity?



By the looks of the Aussie team there are a lot of blokes sending their brothers father's day cards!

Jason, you decide...

Dear Jason,

Option B gets you lots of sex from the chavette population of every major town in the UK. Option A keeps you a sex free zone you fucking nerd.

Your call.

Aussies humbled in Twenty-20 opener

It's even better reading the report on an Aussie web site...

Click here

Head to Head: The Middle Oder

This could be where this series is won and lost, across the board in all other categories it works out pretty evenly. Englands middle order will be any 2 from these 4 depending on form and selectors patience, Thorpe, Bell, Key and Pieterson. I cant argue with Thorpe and Bell at this stage, good left / right combination helps vary the line up. Thorpe has to make runs every innings to keep himself in though, the media will be all over him if he fails.

Looks like the Aussies are looking to play Martyn, Symonds, Clarke and maybe Hussey. Other than the first two I dont know much about the others, but you have to assume they are all good on the basis of the players that dont get in. Ian Harvey and Stuart Law have hardly played for Australia yet have dominated cricket in England for the last 10 years between them. Damien Martyn could be the difference here, he is solid and could hold the innings together for the Aussies.

I fear that the Australians may have the edge here.

Head to Head: The Keepers

Geraint Jones has come on a treat and is a key part of the England set up, to know that it is not all over when we are 6 down is a real bonus. He is tenacious, appeals for anything and takes some great catches. [I still haven't worked out why he opens in the one dayers though.] Unfortunately it is not enough, Gilchrist is one of the best players in the world and wins this one easily for the Aussies.

Head to Head: The All-rounders

Well we've got Freddie and they've got.....is this the edge for England I wonder????

Head to Head: The Quicks

Simon Jones, on his day, looks great. Brett Lee looks like Lee Dixon and he was a whinging twat as well. I think this is too close to call. They could both do a good job but both sets of batsman will enjoy themselves with these guys dishing up pace on hard wickets in the sunshine. I am guessing they will be as ineffective as each other.

Head to head: Opening Bowlers

Harmison v McGrath
I dont know about anyone else but McGrath looked old and fat tonight on the 20:20. He will have plenty of guile but I have a feeling he is going to go for proper runs in theis series. Having said that I am not sure if Harmison can take the pressue and be accurate enough. This one will depend on how they both start the series - I would call this one even at this stage.

Hoggard v Gillespie
Crap haircuts of the world unite! You would have to give it to Gillespie if it was purely on stupid hair style - what does he look like? I have a funny feeling that Hoggard is going to annoy them like he did the South Africans and I am sure he will get wickets, I would not be surprised if he ends up being England's highest wicket taker of the Summer.

I think England edge this one.

I take it all back - 20:20 is brilliant and a great start to the Summer...

We were great and they were shit!

One nil to the En-ger-land!

Flintoff 'could make Aussie side'

Ricky Ponting reckons Andy Flintoff could get in their side - very generous I must say. That may be true now but in a year or two the story could be very different with the Aussie's attack already starting to creak.

Head to Head: The Spinners

I will surprise some people here, but I think this is much closer than it looks. Ashley has come on leaps and bounds in recent series and has developed a real ability to pressurise batsman, sometime to the detriment of sportsmanship but I couldn't care less about that. I saw him at Trent bridge last year against the New Zealanders and him and Harmison pinned them down for 90 minutes and turned the match.

And lets be honest we have seen everything Shane Warne has got, if we haven't worked that one yet we are really in trouble. The key here might be the second spinners which I think may give Australia the advantage as Gareth Batty is totally unproven at this level.

But being positive I am going to call this even, on the basis that Giles will get more runs with the bat than Warne.

Head to Head: The Openers

Trescothick v Hayden
I hate Matthew Hayden, dont ask me why but he is one of those really annoying, beligerant Aussies who noone can ever like. The guy is a robot. Unfortunately I would give him the nod over Tresco because of that mental toughness. Marcus is probably in the form of his life and if he plays well England have a real chance. But I fear the Aussie bowlers will work him out and he will struggle.

Strauss v Langar
Andrew Strauss has one advantage and that is he is new, he has no baggage and the Aussies dont know him. they will have a plan and Strauss will have to be on his mettle to get through. But up against Langar it is no contest, Langar has a fantastic record and I expect him to make lots of runs. Our only chance is if Hoggard can pick up his wicket a couple of times and get a hoodoo over him like he has on Graham Smith.

Overall, I have to give this one to the Aussies.

OK, lets have some predictions...

I cant avoid any longer, this blog is going to need some predictions. I am struggling on this one, it is a very tough call. It is so easy to think that the Aussies will steamroll us, on the other hand we have played some great cricket in the last year. I think it will come down to every individual session of every day. In the past it was not unusual for England to lose all 3 sessions in the day, but I do believe it will be possible for them to win one each day. If, by the same token, the Aussies win one then it comes down to that final session. If England can tie it then at least the test matches will go the distance, and that is a key feature of this resurgence in their play, most of their victories are on the fifth day.

The nub of it is whether England are capable of actually forcing a draw, too often in the past they have capitulated at vital moments. They have to show real grit and push the Aussies to their limits, then fitness and condition will come into play and I think that is where England have the upper hand.

If we see a couple of Tests drawn I think England could edge it, it is going to be intense and England must be more competitive than previously. I would be over the moon with a 1-1 series draw.

Advantage Australia?

I had a thought about a way we could get something from the one day series we are about to play. If we accept that by the end of it the Aussies are going to be well warmed up and raring to go for the Tests, then the best thing to do would be not to use our front line Test bowlers. The bowlers have nothing to prove against these guys and will not be using Test match tactics against them. I would put in some of the up and coming bowlers, Anderson, Lewis, Tremmlet and of course Goughy to give them their batting practice. Save Harmison, Hoggard, Giles and Jones for the Tests so they are fresh and still an unknown quantity. Our batters can get their eye in against the Aussie bowlers and advantage is back with England.

Head to Head: The Captains

As part of this blog I thought it would be good to see if the England team really do have a chance against the Aussies by pitting them man for man against their counterparts. The first one has to be The Captains: Michael Vaughan and Ricky Ponting.

My view would be that these guys are extremely evenly matched. They both weigh in regularly with runs at 3 or 4 and have great cricketing brains. I think they have been around for the same amount of time and have been captains for a similar period too. On paper their records are similar and they must be both very confident. Vaughan has been able to show an agressive style on England's winning run and has not been found wanting in his decision making on the field. Although Ponting is no Steve Waugh he has certainly been around the block and will have learnt a lot from the players around him.

I would have to call this one a tie.

The Sledging Debate

When I was a kid sledging was something you did on a bin bag in the snow, it was certainly not something we talked about in the Summer. In recent years it has become much more prevalent and is a fundamental part of the mental game that goes on in top class sport. I find it increasingly sad to see it creeping in to the lower echelons of the game as well, where mental toughness is not a charateristic that makes a huge difference. Whenever I see a kid rolling about on a football pitch, arguing with referees, wiping the ball before a throw in my heart sinks. It is the same in club cricket I fear.

The best bid of sledging I have ever heard was between Glenn McGrath and Robin Smith, after McGrath had bowled 5 balls of his over and Smith hadn't got near one of them, in total frustration McGrath exclaimed "Why are you so fat?", Smith replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife she gives me a biscuit!" There is no answer to that.

20:20 Format

Ricky Ponting was getting his excuses in early on BBC Radio this morning saying that the Aussies had only played one 20:20 match before, in fact the majortiy of the England team haven't played much either due to Test match commitments. It will be interesting to see what part 20:20 plays on the international scene, my view would be to leave it to the counties, for which it was designed after all, it is a great mid-season revenue generator designed to get people back through the turnstiles all over the country.

20:20 Warm up match...

Following my previous post concerning the itinerary for the Aussies and the fact that the ECB are giving them the one dayers to warm up for the tests, I now find out that we are giving them a 20:20 match to warm up for the one dayers - unbelievable!

The Bangladesh Question..

I personally think that the Test matches with Bangladesh have been very useful. Everyone seems to be saying that they should not have test status and we are wasting our time but I think it was a good opportunity to build confidence and get back into the swing of Test match cricket without having to play at full tilt or risk anyone's fitness. Sir Alf Ramsay did it in 1966, when England played Aylesbury before the 1966 world cup finals to remind his strikers where the goal was [we won 8-0], and Sir Clive Woodward was not complaining when we racked up cricket scores [well Bangladesh cricket scores] against Georgia and Uruguay in 2003, and we know how that ended! There is a psychology to winning that you cant replicate, like muscle memory in golfers or not practising penalties before Champions League Finals!

Not sure where this leaves Andrew Strauss but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

The Smell of Fear...

Not only have we had an attack on Matthew Hoggard, who has become one of the best England bowlers of recent years, he is extremely consistent and also has a killer inswinger which will definitely pick up some lbws this summer. But now the Aussies are going after Andrew Flintoff and his action, which has been ratified by umpires in the caribbean as being fine already.

Me thinks I smell fear!

Another huge own goal by the ECB

Here's a good idea, give the Aussies a nice warm welcome and a one day tournament when they arrive! England's schedule makers have scored another massive own goal by letting the Aussies warm up in some one day cricket which is a perfect way to hone your skills, see all the grounds, test all the pitches, and generally get yourselves in form. And then pop along to Lords, the Aussies favourite and most successful venue where they would have already won the one day series, for the first test.

I would have taken them from the airport straight to Edgbaston, then on to Trent Bridge in back to back matches, England would be 2-0 up, Oval next and then Leeds, back to Lords for a meaningless run out with the Ashes won. The administrators at the ECB need to start helping our guys out instead of lining their pockets, they also need to attend a seminar with Sir Clive Woodward - ITS ALL ABOUT PREPARATION!

Lehmann rounds on England attack

Darren Lehman undertakes some shameless self promotion of his book, a desperate attempt to get himself in the limelight before the series. As far as I can see this guy is a total also-ran in terms of Australian cricket, he will be forgotten soon enough and achieved very little in his patchy international career. So he decides to have a go at the England bowling attack, which pretty much everyone has conceded, including a number of South Afircans who are still licking their wounds, is as good as ever. Even when all 5 of them dont fire we are still very capable of bowling teams out!

Full article if you can be arsed

Desktop Richie...

This will keep you going during the Summer, download a desktop version of Richie Benaud with updates from all the action.

By the way, what do Aussies think of old Richie? It seems strange that we get inflicted with him every Summer.

Here we go again...

We had to set this blog up, the amount of utter rubbish being talked by the Australians is testament to the fact that they are genuinely concerned about the English players and the way this series is going to go. I will feature a number of examples of this in subsequent posts to prove my point but rest assured these guys are outside of their comfort zone, England are finally back!